Blessings in Disguise

It was six years yesterday that Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf Coast as a category three hurricane.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think my family and I would be involved in such a physical and emotional disaster.  I'm a California girl, remember?  We have earthquakes in California but never hurricanes.  If you ask those closest to me, they will tell you my memory is pretty bad. I attribute it to "Mama Overload" but when it comes to the days leading up to Katrina and the many days that followed, my recollections are crystal clear.

We had just moved to Mississippi 5 months earlier for me to start a new job at Keesler Medical Center.  It was our second choice for an assignment out of two choices but the job was supposed to be better for my career progression so it became our first choice.  At that time my parents had made their third of four moves to follow Kurt and me to our various AF assignments.  They always made it known that it was for the kids not us. And that was ok with us. We were still blessed to have them. We had settled in nicely and gotten used to the small community of Ocean Springs and Biloxi even if the mall seemed to be the size of a Target store.  I had the wallpaper on the walls and Kurt and Hunter enjoyed riding the riding lawn mower in the mean humidity.

We went through the motions a couple times earlier that summer with hurricane warnings but before we realized it, Hurricane Katrina had even the locals concerned.  Even so, we weren't too terribly worried.  We had signed up for flood, wind, and hail insurance despite the fact the builders in the area assured us we were not in a flood zone. We had just learned we would be expecting our third child a few weeks before.  When Katrina hit, I was 12 weeks pregnant.  I remember hurrying to finish packing before we were to evacuate so I could get in one last jog around the block.  Kurt mowed the lawn so he wouldn't have to do it after we returned.  Boy, we had NO clue!

The aftermath of Katrina was nothing we could of imagined in our wildest deams.  Our cars and homes were deemed totaled due to 6 feet of salt water that they were submerged in and the mold that quickly filled them.  Most of our belongings were ruined. 

This photo was taken by one of our neighbors who chose not to evacuate and sheltered in the attic with their children.  They took this photo when the water started to recede.

We were excited about our new house.  If you look closely near the hanging picture you can see the water line in the kitchen.

The damage was unbelieveable.  My parents' piano had been moved across the house where it was blocking the front door.

 

The photo below was taken with some good friends of ours, the Pittards, who were also an AF family and lived across the street.  Darren was an OB-GYN resident and their house suffered similar damage.  Surprisingly, they were relocated to Lackland AFB as well and found a home in the same neighborhood once again.  This photo is so telling and filled with emotion.

These group of men were from Palm Valley Church where we had visited when we lived in Phoenix, Arizona.  They got word of our situation from some friends.  They drove out and helped Kurt with the house after the kids and I left.  We were one of several families that they provided assistance to in the Gulf Coast area.  It was a real blessing for Kurt to see their familiar faces and have them pray for us.

We quickly were reminded what is truly important in life and it's wasn't any THING.  To make a long story short, I was evacuated to California to stay with Kurt's parents while the AF decided what job to send me next.  It was a stressful time with my parents staying in MS, Kurt following us a few weeks later, and the kids staying with me in a house that was not at all kid proof.  The battle with the insuance companies was a daily thing but we dared not complain.  We were among the few with insurance who could someday expect a check AND we had an outpour of love and support from family and friends.  They were more than gracious with helping us get back on our feet.  It turned out, we were sent back to San Antonio, Texas where I chose to take a job in AF Recruiting Service.  Things started to fall into place and before we knew it Ethan was born and we were moving into a new home with my parents two doors down.  And the rest is history... 

So many of us know that God works in mysterious ways but in the midst of our turmoil we can't see anything good every coming of the situation.  I have to admit, I had my doubts.  Six years later, I see the experience as a true blessing in the way it has shaped our lives.  Let me explain... The first time we lived in Texas we had some great friends, the Wiggams, who invited us to visit their church called Oak Hills.  We didn't go but once and it was shortly before our move to Arizona but it left an impression on us- so much that we decided to go back when we moved back.  The Wiggams have moved away but we have found a wonderful group of friends we call family and the lessons and pastors have touched our lives when it mattered most.  Perhaps the biggest blessing is our Ethan.  While we never knew what his sex or name would be before he was born, God knew. And He knew so much more.  He knew Ethan would have struggles in his life with Autism and he would need help brought to him by intense therapy.  Therapies that are not found in small cities like Ocean Springs and Biloxi Mississippi.  God guided our path straight to San Antonio where Ethan would have the best chance at a bright future.  And a bright future he now has.  Another valuable lesson we have learned is that we are entitled to anything- not our clothes, our homes, or any of our possessions.  It's a gift that any time can be taken away.

Each year at Katrina's anniversary I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude but I also feel a sense of unworthiness compared to the thousands of good people who were not as fortunate to have the means to pick up the pieces to their homes and lives and move on as easily.  Do they view Hurricane Katrina as the blessing that we do? 

un cycliste

The past 10 months I have switched gears and set aside my competitive side.  I say competitive, but my love for running and races is really a competition I have with myself.  Ever since last year's marathon, I haven't been running much and I haven't trained for any races.  Am I being lazy, you might ask?  I guess that is a small part of the reason but the main reason was that I have been trying to find balance.

 Training, fundraising, and racing with Team in Training to benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society was amazing and I loved every every moment of it.  I was able to complete 3 full marathons with the group. But...it required a lot of my time, attention, and energy.  Last Novemeber I promised Kurt I would give him a break and focus on our family and it has been exactly what all of us needed.  There hasn't been a day that I haven't missed it...the discipline in commiting to a physically challenging endeavor, the comraderie and teamwork, and the joy that comes from helping others. 


Kurt and I have talked about how nice it would be to find a recreational activity that we both enjoyed that we could do together.  I took up golf this Valentine's Day or should I say, took up hitting balls at the driving range and that has been fun.  But I have to be honest, as much as golf requires talent, it doesn't bring on a calorie burn and endorphin surge and once you're used to that, it's hard to go without.  A new sport that we have taken up is cycling.  Although it has been in the back of my mind for a long time, buying bikes was Kurt's idea.  I actually have few friends who are avid cyclists, some of which could probably be considered pros.  I met them through an organization I became involved in this year called Team4Mil whose mission is to raise awareness and funds for Wounded Warriors while training for and completing the Race Across America.  Check out their website at http://www.team4mil.org/.  They are an amazing group and have been an inspiration to me.


So...with a little help...actually a lot of help and with a good deal, the two of us bought our own bikes.  Contrary to the sport of running which does not require too many accessories, cycling can be quite complicated.  The helmet is only the beginning.  You have to have padded shorts, a reflective light, water bottle cage, an air pump, an extra tube and CO2 cartridge in case of a flat, and if you jump in with both feet like us, special cleated shoes to go with the fancy pedals.  Bella is still trying to convince me that a bell would make things complete. We have no choice now but to take this seriously. 

When it comes to exercise, I do better with a partner.  The plan is for Kurt and I to go together but there's only 3 little roadblocks who I affectionately refer to as Huntie, Bella Boo, and Eth Monster.  Sure they have bikes but bless Ethan's heart because his training wheels can only go around so fast.  It's just gonna take some coordination. After a quick comment on facebook, I was able to connect with an old friend who has been looking for a new cycling partner.  See Kurt...something good can actually come from Facebook.  Within a day, Brandi and I had planned to meet bright and early for a bike ride together.  What a nice surprise!  I have a new partner and she rides faster than me too.

After 2 rides, (yesterday's was about 20 miles), I can say that I am hooked.  I've mastered clipping into my right cleat and have only fallen once, but it was the most graceful fall you have ever seen.  Riding a bike with these pedals actually takes concentration.  If you're going to fall, you better snap out of your pedals.  After about 15 years riding nothing but a stationary cycling bike, I don't think I am doing too shabby.  I am a quick learner and don't give up easily.  Lance Armstrong watch out!  I have a new project!!

Darn Good Chocolate Cake

Today Bella and I decided to make a cake to celebrate our great summer and the beginning of a new school year.  She picked out this cake from my Cake Doctor cookbook.  These recipes aren't new but are totally fool proof and taste superb.  The book is loaded with pictures and each recipe calls for a cake mix in addition to other special ingredients.  SOOOO easy!  Not really low fat but sure to please.  As I always say...all foods can be consumed in moderation and all foods can fit (even if it means more exercise the next day).  The cake was a big hit!

Ingredients:
1 pkg plain devil's good or dark chocolate fudge cake mix
1 pkg chocolate instant pudding mix
4 large eggs
1 cup sour cream (I used fat free)
1/2 cup warm water
1/2 cup veg oil (applesauce may be a suitable substitute)
1 1/2 cups semisweet choc chips (I used miniature)

Spray your bundt pan and dust with flour. Shake out the excess flour.  Set the pan aside. Place a rack in the center of the oven and preheat the oven to 350. 

Place the cake mix, pudding mix, eggs, sour cream, warm water, and oil in a large mixing bowl.  Bledn with an electric mixer on low speed for 1 minute.  Stop the machine and scrape down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula. increase the mixer speed to medium and beat 2 to 3 minutes more, scraping the sides down again if needed. The batter should look thick and well combined. Fold in the chocolate chips making sure they are well distributed throughout the batter.  Pour the batter into the prepared pan, smoothing it out with the rubber spatula.  Place the pan in the oven.

Bake the cake until it springs back when lightly pressed with your finger and just starts to pull away from the sides of the pan.  45 to 50 minutes.  Remove the pan from the oven and place it on a wire rack to cool for 20 minutes.  Run a long sharp knife around the edge of the cake and invert it onto the rack to cool completely, 20 minutes more.  Or invert it onto a serving platter to slide and serve while still warm.

The only thing I would have done differently was make sure that the flour was more evenly spread on the bottom of the pan.  It clumped a little bit on the cooking spray.

This is Miss Sweet Tooth.  She is definitely her mother's daughter.

Don't mind the piece of cake stuck in her tooth.  Isn't she adorable?

The sour cream and pudding are the key to the moistness.

We Grow Together

More often lately I have found myself stopping and taking a closer look at my life...I've been thinking of the people I thought were my good friends but when the going got tough, they were nowhere to be found.  I've reflected on my career path and how although it was not my exact choice, each job I've had has brought about professional and personal growth that I would not trade.  I've thanked God for the family and friends I have and how each one has touched me in different ways and made me who I am today.  My wish is that somehow I have touched their lives too. 


Today I had the chance to spend some time with my oldest son Hunter.  Ever since I learned that I would be deploying for 6 months, it has sharpened my perspective on how short life truly is and how I've been given a finite number of opportunities to leave lasting impressions on those I love.  I am sure that sounds rather dismal, given the reality of the situation and where I will be going, but the truth of the matter is, for the first time ever, I am not afraid of deploying.  This is not to say that it is not on my mind constantly.  There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of what I need to do and say today to prepare my family for later.  What do I want them to remember about me and life's lessons when I am gone for six months?


So back to Hunter...the short of it is that I have come to realize more and more that he is truly his mother's son.  He is sensitive, creative, strong-willed, determined, and bright (but this is more a result of determination than a natural gift).  One of the not-so-good traits that Hunter has inherited from me is his tendency to worry and be anxious. It came to light over time. One thing Hunter differs from me in is that he is more to himself with his feelings compared to his mom who is an open book and wears her heart on her sleeve.  Yep, that's me.  Stopping to examine Hunter's thought processes and worries and where they stem from has allowed me to understand my own more clearly.  Who says that we don't learn valuable lessons from our small kids?  At 37, maybe there is still hope for me yet.


Hunter's second appointment with the child psychologist went well.  He was conversant but careful in choosing his words.  His explanation of what types of situations make him anxious such as talking in front of groups, taking tests, flying in an airplane, and meeting new people resemble my anxieties to a "t".  Genetics is truly a powerful thing.  Not once have I shared my feelings with him on these things.  During the appointment, the three of us developed coping strategies for Hunter that were tailored to his personality that can help him overcome his negative feelings and thoughts when they arise.  Is this rocket science? Of course not but nonetheless, I think it can be powerful in how it can transform his outlook from one of "helplessness" to "capable."


Not long ago, Hunter and I used to disagree on most everything.  It was only when I stopped and realized that this was more a result of us being "more alike" than "more different" that I realized there was opportunity for us both to grow closer, depending on how I reacted to his behavior.  Don't get me wrong...I don't dismiss his bad behavior or pretend not to see his poor choices.  I don't accept his strong will and give into his demands.  I know what happens when discipline is absent.  I love my kids too much not to invest the time and effort in teaching them right from wrong and holding them accountable for their actions.  But...something new that I have tried is consciously acknowledging and respecting his feelings by looking him straight in the eye and talking about them.  Sometimes they are as simple as not wanting to clean up his room and other times, he's shared with me his fear of being a failure.  Respecting Hunter as his own person, who's entitled to his feelings, whether they are helpful or destructive, has built trust and a stronger bond between us.  It's helped him to understand we'll always be there to listen no matter what the topic or concern is.  Isn't that what each of us want in life anyway?  Whether we are 10 or 70, we want to be listened to, understood, and valued by others. We want to feel loved.


Today I felt honored when Hunter shared with me that he really enjoyed our time together at the psychologist and over frozen yogurt and how we will always love me.  I feel so blessed to be Hunter's mom. 

Here's my little guy on his 2nd birthday. It was with him that I experienced many of my "firsts."  Where have the last 8 years gone?????

Here is Hunter today at 10 years old.  He's exactly who he's meant to be as God's "work in progress."  Someday he's going to change the world.  He's already changed mine...

Lessons from Las Vegas

The past couple weeks our family has been on wonderful vacations to two very different places.  A few weeks ago my parents offered to take the kids to their new home in Phoenix for two weeks while Kurt and I continued to get the new house set up as well as go to a conference for my work.  I had been to this particular diabetes conference a few times and this year's conference just happened to be in Las Vegas.  What a great spot for a getaway!






The first couple days were odd not having the kids around but we knew they were going to have a blast at Grammie and Papa's.  After we got Kherby the dog situated in the Bunk N Biscuit (http://www.mybunknbiscuit.com/), it was our turn to pack up and head out for Vegas for 6 days.  The last time we visited was for my surprise birthday present to Kurt for his 30th (nearly 7 years ago).  Attending the American Association of Diabetes Educators (AADE) annual conference is inspiring.  It truly is among the best for diabetes professionals and while it was difficult leaving Kurt to have his own fun during the day, I found the sessions, exhibits, and poster sessions to be well worth it.   The main reason I chose a career in dietetics was to help people improve the quality of their lives through good nutrition.  At times I tend to lose sight of that goal.  Being in more administrative and management positions have left me feeling more like a firefighter than a counselor on most days.  This week was a good reminder of the satisfaction I feel from helping others improve their health and more specifically, their diabetes.

90% of the sessions I attended contibuted to professional and personal growth.  There were two speakers in particular that I will especially remember from the conference.  The first was Dr Nat Strand.  She is an anesthesiologist in southern California and was on the first all female team to win the Amazing Race reality show (with her friend Kat, also an anesthesiologist). The most inspiring part of Nat's story was that she overcame the many challenges of the race that covered over 25 countries in 22 days as a Type 1 diabetic. Her talk was from the patient's perspective and she gave a wonderful analogy of how living with diabetes is somewhat like the Amazing Race where you are faced with roadblocks and challenges each day. 

The second speaker was a Washington Post columnist named Jeffrey Zaslow who was the co-author with Dr. Randy Pausch of the Last Lecture.  It's a beautiful testimony of a Carnegie Mellon University professor who spent the last few months of his life after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer capturing what he believed to be the most important life lessons for his three young children in a "last lecture" and book. Opposed to most individuals who would struggle with a "why me?" mentality, Randy embraced the short time he had left before he died with a philosophy of "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."  If you haven't read the Last Lecture, you most definitely have to pick it up. 

After the talk, Jeffrey Zaslow was avaialable for book signing.  Even though I had already read the book, it was worth standing in a line with almost 250 other sentimental folks (mostly women) for my personally signed copy. 

The first day we must have walked over 8 miles up and down the strip. 

The strip.  We noticed that there was less gambling in the casinos and the cost of food had gone up since our last visit.  A sign of the times.

Kurt's cousin Laura drove from S. Cal to visit with us for 2 days.  This picture was taken on the first night before we went downtown for dinner and drinks.

The weather was hot but the dry heat didn't feel as hot as Texas.  Here we are on our last full day sneaking in some more sight seeing and a lunch at In N Out Burger. Now that is something you just don't get in Texas.

The entire trip was a blessing from start to finish and ended with a stop through Phoenix to pick up the kids before heading back to good 'ol San Antonio.