When it comes to friends, I haven't changed much in the last 30 years. I am not a girl who has countless friends. I am not a girl who needs to feel "most popular." And if I had it my way, I'd much rather hang out with a small group of close friends than a large room of people I really don't know. You can call me shy, a bit introverted, or quiet when it comes to making new friends but then you also can call me loyal, sensitive (sometimes overly), and a pleaser when it comes to how I feel about my lifelong friends.
Looking back, I see the difference...the different tone of voice a military member uses when describing a friend made during a deployment...the way one of these individuals unexpectedly runs into a deployment friend and it's like time stood still since they last spoke, both smiling from ear to ear. It's hard to explain until you've experienced "it". What I mean by "it" is the nervous feeling that fills you knowing you are in a foreign land, thousands of miles from all that is comforting, and the only person you have to depend on is you and only you. Then, someone comes along. Someone you weren't looking for but someone who just happened to cross your path and suddenly you can relate to this new friend and he or she can relate to you, almost as if you have always been friends.
You can attribute the friendships that develop during deployments to different things- living and working in close proiximity, sharing all your meals together, and just the sheer number of hours that you spend with your fellow deployed members. But if you ask me, the most influential factors that affect how friendships develop during a deployment, it is the sense of teamwork that pride that comes from doing work that is meaningful but emotionally not easy. It is because these friends understand what is most important to you, what you left behind, and they understand the fear of not returning to it. Lastly, they share a desire to not feel alone, alone in a dangerous place full of unfamiliar people. They want someone to walk by their side and someone to have their back.
I am 1/3 through my deployment and I can already say that I have made friends with people I know I will be in my life forever. Strangely enough, some of them live in San Antonio and have worked at Wilford Hall but I had come all the way to Afghanistan to meet them. Each of them are unique and have brightened my days in different ways.
Out of all the friends I have made, one stands out and her name is Denise. Major Carcamo and I met after we arrived at Bagram during the awkward stage when all of us were feeling out our new ready-made family. Right away I knew we'd be able to each other because she too, is a mom and has 4 kids, triplet girls and a son. It turns out she was just being nice when she first told me to let her know if I needed any help with the Wing Change of Command events that I had volunteered to organize but I took her up on her offer. And it was from that day forward that we have pretty much been inseparable here. We eat together, exercise together, laugh together and cry together, do laundry together, paint our toenails together, talk about our kids together, and make future plans for family get-togethers together. As she puts it, "it's like our friendship is on steroids." While we both count the days to return to our beloved families, we know that day will be bittersweet and mean that although our friendship will continue to grow, it will change and never be the same.
"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for a while, leave footprints in our hearts, and we are never, ever the same." -- Flavia
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